A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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