Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
