you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
