It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
