Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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