But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
