so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
