I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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