I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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