two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
NoShamevember. You game?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
