what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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