You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
