You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Mom said you looked used
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
