We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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