I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize