My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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