I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
