We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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