You really coming over, don't trick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
