where am i from again
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
