Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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