I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize