the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
soo... how was my night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize