FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
