She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
