We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
