something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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