I hope mine doesn't look like that
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
