I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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