found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the condom got lost in my hair
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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