i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
