We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
