some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
Randomize
