Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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