Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's get the cat blown out
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
