How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize