You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
