He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
