my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
