UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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