Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize