My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
