Sry I called you an 8
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
