I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize