His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
