Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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