Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
