today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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