Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
