All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
