Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
