Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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