I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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