i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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