did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
