Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
