Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
