One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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