oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
