So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
