Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
