3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Panties = found
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize