Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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