Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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