Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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