I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
do nipples grow back?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
