it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
