Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
