Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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