At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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