i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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