That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we're making bets on your personal life
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
